Dressing the Part

I can hear the guy in the infomercial yelling..."YES, you too can look like a photographer for only $326!  That's right, the shoes are just $129, the vest is $79, pants are $79, and the tshirt is only $39.  But wait, that's not all!!  Order now and we'll throw in a special bonus gift while supplies last!"

Then there's the really fast disclaimer at the end.  

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included.  Use only as directed. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Subject to approval. Apply only to affected area. For recreational use only. All models over 18 years of age. No user-serviceable parts inside. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Colors may, in time, fade. Post office will not deliver without postage. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Do not write below this line. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Driver does not carry cash.